Category: Uncategorized

I have done it! In three weeks, I will be unemployed! I feel so relieved. The weight of the decision and the delay is gone. When I told the team – they were all excited for me to move to something new & different.

A senior dev from another team will be moving to take over the project. He will be perfect – he has knowledge that will be extremely useful. All that is left is to transition the knowledge. That sounds so easy but it isn’t. Will I remember everything needed, will I write down what they need to succeed.

At least that concern has a time limit. In three weeks, I will be out and they will have to swim. I know they will – maybe a little slower because my in-depth knowledge will be gone. I hope they all thrive.

I don’t know what that next thing will be for me. I figure I will take a long vacation and do some learning and then see what happens! I am a bit scared.

September 11 is always an emotional day now. It has become the “Where were you when …. ?” question of recent years. People remember and discuss how that day happened for them – how they experienced the disbelief and trauma.

When I was growing up, the question was “Where were you when JFK was shot?” I didn’t get it then – how something can stick in everyone’s minds and hearts. Then when I was in 6th grade – we were all gathered in the auditorium to watch the teacher – Christa McAulliffe – go into space. It was a celebratory day – probably in part because we were getting out of normal classes. Then it happened – the shuttle exploded. That day I started to understand a little of why something like that could stay in your mind.

But September 11 was bigger. It will always be a heavy, emotional memory. Where was I? I worked an evening shift, so normally I slept late. But that day I woke up early for whatever reason. I tuned in to NBC just before the second tower was hit. It was so surreal – how could it be true? The day just slowly unfolded and no one ever came on screen to say it was a hoax – like that War of the Worlds radio show. No one could say anything which could make it better, it just kept going. And kept getting worse.

Today, almost twenty years later they had a television broadcast of another memorial ceremony and the new museum located at the Twin Towers site. It looked beautiful and showcased the many people lost that day with pictures and even videos. I hope it helps soothe the hearts and souls of those who lost friends and family that day.

I think I am getting close to the end of a self imposed sentence. My current employer’s dental insurance benefits included adult orthodontia. A couple years ago, I finally took advantage of it. I had palate expanders on the top and bottom, a herbst device – which is a torture device to correct an overbite – along with the traditional metal brackets. The only banned food (that I care about) is popcorn. I miss it so!

The palate expanders were pretty painful – I would turn to expand before bed. Usually the pain level was back to normal by morning. Though I heard stories from others who had to make more extensive adjustments – so in comparison, not too bad. The herbst was always a lingering discomfort – after an adjustment by the orthodontist – the jaw muscles stretched & tight to bring the bottom forward to align better with the top. That pain would last for days – I took a lot of acetaminophen and ibuprofen.

Getting the expanders and the herbst off were very liberating experiences but not in themselves comfortable. The devices were, of course, meant to stay on for a long time, so were secured very well to my teeth. Getting them taken out was a little laborious. Not for me, I just had to sit there and not move my head. But thankfully, the orthodontist and the assistants are a very skilled bunch – so it was over as quickly as they could do it.

During my last appointment there was another patient, a pre-teen, getting expanders out. He was not having a good time. Many “ow, ow, ow” and “no, no, no” were heard from the other end of the treatment room. I felt so sorry for him – but I know that he would be so glad to have that short painful time over with and the expanders out. The flesh around and under the expanders will be raw and sensitive for a couple days. But the prospect of not having to turn the expanders ever again is SO great! Hopefully, he is happier now.

For myself though I think I am getting close to the end of my journey. I don’t ask for dates – because I don’t want to be disappointed. So I only go appointment to appointment – 5-6 weeks at a time. Yesterday the orthodontist eluded to the end – for the first time during my treatment. I still am not going to get my hopes up, but looks like popcorn may be closer in my future than I thought.

This is my first post on this new venture. As the tag line says – I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I am mid-*cough*-forties, and I haven’t grown up yet. I don’t know when that will actually happen – maybe never, and I don’t think I am unhappy about that.

I would love to find a purpose to my craft, use it for good – or at least for fun. Now I work for an e-commerce company – I have been with the company (amid a few acquisitions) for 13 years. And while I do work on privacy functions – a very necessary process – it isn’t really a calling. This might be a midlife crisis …..